Ex, Oh, Crystal balls and ……letting go?

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Don’t you wish we could have a crystal ball in life?

I wouldn’t ask it evvvverything… just some questions. Like, what are the winning lottery numbers or should I date this guy vs that guy, why does he act like that, should I buy this vs that? Etc.. you know basic questions…

(will I be single forever? Hahaha, Hey it’s a valid question.)

Anyway, it would be nice to know what to pursue and what to let go of.

As a woman, we question who we should be with especially the older we get and still in the dating world. How do you REALLY know if someone is THE ONE? We obviously don’t want to waste our time…

We date and can date multiple people if you are casually dating. It’s certainly something I struggle with. I can’t date multiple people and keep names straight. I just can’t. (another post….sigh)

People say all the time “take your time and be patient”… which drives me insane. I absolutely take my time. Personally, I might take too much time sometimes. I refuse to ever settle. I wont date to just date because I don’t want to waste time, energy or set yourself up for disappointment down the road. But if you have a good guy in your life, and you are just casually dating people when do you make the call to let the others go and just be with the good guy?

You know I’ve always had an issue of taking that extra shot of whiskey (the person not the alcohol…HA) but when should someone walk away from a casual dating lifestyle and lock it down with a good guy?

I guess when they both are ready? “Time will tell” people say, but when it tells you how does it tell you? You don’t get a text from “Time” saying:

Time: Hey girl it’s me… time… go ahead and forget the guy you’re dating because the other guy is the one. I’m telling you, he is.

I meannnnnn, at least I DON’T get that heads up from ‘time’.

Sometimes letting go of a casual guy is hard because maybe you’re comfortable with him. Maybe because you’ve memorized the cycle of his games and it gives you a sense of comfort because you know every 3 weeks he will come around. Maybe it’s a guy in your past that you want in your life still because you can be yourself with.

I have a friend who meets and dates guys on her own but she is really close with her ex. They have no romantic actions with each other but they go grab drinks, dinner and he hangs up curtains and pictures in her house. (I also reap the benefits of their friendship because he hung my TV’s and headboards since I had no one to do it.. thanks boo!) She and I have been in similar situations and I asked her if she would ever date him and she said no. She’s comfortable with him.

I totally get it. When you are dating a bunch of losers and it’s been so long since you’ve been in a relationship – it’s nice to have stability with someone. I’ve done it also. Even if it’s an ex. Sometimes, maybe you want to be back with the ex because you see the D-bags out in the market now.

She and I have conversations on a weekly basis on just wanting to meet a good, decent, NORMAL guy. I feel like they don’t exist anymore… Maybe they do. Maybe they’re all hanging out together dodging crazy girls….  If that’s the case, we are all screwed.

Happy dating!

xo