BEES & FIRES

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I am so annoyed. I had an entire 3 paragraph blog typed up recapping my first week on tinder and my computer restarted and I lost the whole thing. Literally the first week was kind of brutal. I had one guy pick a fight with me about Jesus and religion and another guy tell me I need to delete the app and just try and get to know him. This was after we matched and then MAYBE exchanged 5 messages. Uhh, what? He said I was playing games and that I’ll figure it out when “you’re 40 and still single LOL”… ok, dude..whatever.

Then I saw a few people I knew on the site which always leads to the facebook message, text or message on the app “Hey! Why are you on here???” ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I decided to not give my number out anymore to anyone until I was sure I either had a little interest in them or I was going to end up trying to meet them. There’s no point in just giving it out to give it out. I’m 30 not 21.

Also, my Instagram picked up quite a bit of followers. I only followed 1 person back since he was a fellow North Carolinian and a neighbor basically. He is the only one I met from the site so far and he was actually pretty spot on judging from photos and his bio. You never really know what you’re going to get with online dating. We’ve all heard nightmares about getting catfished. Haha

We met up at a local bar in our neighborhood since it was convenient for us both and we decided to meet and watch football (our Panthers played at 4pm that Sunday) and they ended up winning. Obviously good vibes from us. We have a ton in common – again, both from NC and about 45 minutes from each other’s hometown, both live in St Pete literally 1 street apart, we both drive Jeeps, we both have a brother and we both go to the same local spot…a lot. So how have we never met? Thanks Bumble. Funny thing – I told him I always said I would NEVER meet someone in a bar. And I would NEVER meet someone online.. and he says “So you met me online and we are meeting for the first time in a bar….” Hahaha, good point. So we will see where it goes – yall know I will keep you posted… good or bad.

On Tinder – there are so many gym pic mirror selfies you would cringe at the sight of even seeing your own reflection at the gym next time. Seriously, so many. And why? Then there’s the pic beside the car pose… sitting on the side of their 2012 Mustang or even better, kneeling beside the rim (I didn’t realize grown men still think ‘rims’ are a cool thing – but allegedly, they do.) But there are some cute ones on there also… so not a total bust.

On Bumble – the guys seem to be older and less into the South Tampa thing. Well, the ones I came across anyway. I had my settings so tight that I ran out of people in like, 3 minutes. (8 mile radius and 28-35 age range.) The guys I have talked to seem really nice but like I said I have only met 1 guy so far.

I feel like overall, the apps and the whole thing is just so overwhelming for me. On Bumble, you have to reach out to the guy first. On Tinder, either can message first. It’s message after message after message, and it’s the same thing.. “hey, how are you?” …”HEYYYYYYYYY beautiful”…”Wow, what’s a beautiful girl like you doing on here” and I’m just over here like ‘Ugh, I know right??’ Kidding… what’s really going through my mind is – What AM I doing on here? How did I end up here? And I’m not saying I think I am so beautiful that I shouldn’t HAVE to be on a dating site. There are so many beautiful people out there on these sites but how did it get so hard to meet someone? How did it get so complicated to meet a man with a decent job, morals, and ready to date someone and be an adult? Guys now want to date 19 girls, hookup, and swipe to the next beautiful girl. It’s crazy.

When I was talking to the guy I met up with, let’s call him Winston…because he’s from Winston Salem, NC so I feel like it just works. So Winston and I are talking about the online dating thing – he hadn’t met anyone off of the site yet either but it seems like guys deal with similar issues that we do. Same messages, same type of game I guess.

My neighbor Corey is also on the sites and he has a completely different approach. He swipes yes to everyone and messages the most random stuff then sends screen shots to me and Lindsey and we all just laugh.. he’s a witty kid.

But really – online dating has ruined dating in the real world. I know I have blogged about this before but it has. It makes you wonder what’s better out there? If she has X,Y,Z then maybe there’s another BETTER one out there that has W, X Y AND Z. You can put in certain filters on certain sites and basically build your dream guy/girl.

This seems like the perfect storm but is it?

No one really gets to know anyone anymore. It’s so heavily based on looks. Now, while I think looks and attraction to the other person is a very important part I think photos are deceiving. Who is going to post an unflattering photo? Yall, people are using photos from 2007. IT WAS NOT JUST 2007. That was 8 years ago. E I G H T. 8. That’s not an accurate representation of yourself and you know it….BUT I also have seen people I know in real life on the site and I think they are amazing people but based from their photo or bio I wouldn’t swipe yes. I know a couple of guys I used to date that are on the site and 1 guy in particular when I first met him I wasn’t attracted to him. It was his personality I was attracted to. Had we not met in a real life situation I wouldn’t have even known him… or dated him… and it didn’t work out so maybe I should have met him online? HA kidding but you get my point. And for the record, If I know someone I NEVER swipe “yes”. We are friends for a reason.

Several of my girlfriends are on atleast 1 of the sites. 1 of my girlfriends has met some really cool guys from the sites. But it’s exhausting getting to know 8 people at the same time. I have no desire to do that. None. Not one part of me thinks that sounds like a good idea. I work a full-time job that ends up taking up much more than 40 hours a week sometimes, I work out every day pretty much and I don’t want to skip my gym class or yoga because of another date to eliminate people from a dating site. Is there a happy medium? How many different dates do you go on before you pick the “best” match for yourself? 1, 3, 18? I don’t know. I wish I could have 15 girls/15 guys from Bumble or Tinder that have matched with each other and have everyone meet at a bar and from there just mingle. I know there are similar things like this and it’s not a ground breaking idea that I have but I really think it would be better to get a grasp on who someone is.

I don’t know how much longer I will be on the app because like I said – it’s exhausting but at the same time it’s fun. On Tuesdays we have ‘Neighbor Night: Tinder Cleanout’ and Thursdays for Neighbor Night we have ‘Tinder Thursday’ and we will swipe new people or exchange stories. And some are hilarious from them. I’ve had only 1 that went against all odds and very well for my first. But my neighbors HA, hilarious…Lindsey had one guy disappear for 10 minutes to take a picture of the moon and she completely disappeared on him.

One of my girls who has had some TERRIBLE Tinder dates says and I quote “some guys are like t-shirts, they look cute on the hanger, but once you try them on it’s just not the right fit”.. amen, sister. Amen.

But at the end of it all – I guess I joined because I still believe in love. I still believe in romance and I know someone out there is the perfect match for me. Even if I have to meet him online. Plus, all my friends are married so I’m almost done with bridesmaid duty.

I will say – the one person who is NOT happy about me and this whole online dating thing is my dad. He was PISSED. My mom texts me one day and says “Can I call you? Your daddy is tripping”… she said he wants my brother to run peoples names to make sure they aren’t psychos. (my brother is a cop) He says “If she cant meet a guy out randomly she aint got no reason to meet them! They probably stalk her!” hahahaha…. dads…..

PS, as I am writing this blog post – Lindsey texts me and says a guy she had met on Tinder and went out with a few times is flying the plane. The captain(which is him) comes over the intercom to welcome everyone and then says “Thank you for flying with us today and we would like to have a special welcome to Wendy Petty in seat 11F. She is one of our premier customers..etc…” HAHAHA everyone starts clapping and the couple next to me says “wait, is that you??” and he starts pointing. DEAD. By far, my coolest Tinder story yet. Thanks Lins.

Happy Dating and Happy Tindering!

xo