Literally the worst at blogging these days. I mean it. I used to have time on my hands to blog and girl talk with my girlfriends now I barely have time to even write the word glitter.
Sad isn’t it?
And let’s be real..it’s not like I’m a Kardashian out traveling the world being busy. I’m working and living and it’s taking up all my time. Growing up is in fact, A TRAP!
I’m working 2 jobs now. I work full-time at a local staffing firm Monday – Friday 8-5:30 and then a couple of nights per week and on the weekends I’m back in my old salon that I was at before I moved to Florida. Full circle, huh? Obviously my goal is to build up my clientele and be able to focus my time on being a hairstylist so ladies… if you need your hair done or looking for a new stylist… here I am. Ha! (but really)…
AND! A bonus that I am sure my stories for this blog will be much more interesting! Ha!
Anyway, I was talking to a girlfriend the other day about dating and obviously my dating life came to a screeching halt. Ok, well not in a way of never going on dates again but fortunately for me no more of the psycho’s or corny pickup line stories on my end, personally. I’ll just be going on dates with the same guy. But for her, she is back in the dating game after being in a serious relationship.
We started talking about tinder, match and other social media related dating websites. What a freaking nightmare. I know yall remember reading all about my 3 weeks on tinder and bumble or my 18 hours I lasted on Match… I said it before and I’ll say it again, the apps just aren’t for me.
She said the same. Bumble is so much work. Guys get to sit back and think the girl has to initiate the entire thing. Um, no. The first message? Yes. From there, you better start talking and moving things along or else, see ya.
But then we started talking about guys being ‘taken’ or off the market the older we get. If you’re 30 and single, (I guess guy or girl) then what the heck is wrong with you?
There must be a reason? Or no?
Everyone has baggage. Divorced? Kids? Divorced and kids? Living with your mom at 36? Whatever it is, most have some sort of baggage. When you’re 20, baggage seems horrible and like a deal breaker but when you’re 30, you almost hope there IS some baggage. Not necessarily on their behalf but some validated reason as to why they aren’t taken or married. Sad.. but reality. For most of us we know what we are willing to deal with. And sometimes you learn what you are capable of dealing with. My grandma asked my mom is Mike was gay because he was so good-looking and not married or taken yet. Until I snatched him up, obviously.. 😉
But I guess the real question is how do you meet people? Without tying social media or technology into dating. Is it even possible anymore?
It’s constantly a topic of conversation that social media has ruined relationships or ruined the dating scene. Dating isn’t the same anymore because you can all-but hand select and almost ‘build’ the “perfect” person until the grass gets greener for you. Which if you ask me, that’s the main problem. The grass is greener to so many people because you can just jump onto an app and swipe another right (or is it left?? I can’t even remember anymore) but it’s so accessible and easy to walk away to the next thing. Until the next thing. And until the next.
But where do young 30-somethings go find a good guy or good girl now?
For me personally, and most of my girlfriends can vouch for me, I am always trying to play match maker. I literally would try and hook people up every chance I got. Even when I was single I would still try and match a stranger with a girlfriend.
On tinder once a guy found me on facebook and I told him I wasn’t interested but I had this friend who was “so cute and a good Christian girl!”. Seemed like he was into that and I passed along her information and he stalked out her page (I guess) and then that was that. Obviously not the best at matchmaking? But I always try.
I really do feel like the best way to meet someone is through someone else. Whether it’s an acquaintance or a friend or someone you know through 16 levels of friends – it’s all about who you know. Plus, if you meet when you’re with a bunch of friends the pressure is kind of deferred so you aren’t in a situation of dotting every I and crossing every T. You may or may not hit it off but either way you didn’t have to swipe and have the same conversation for the 16th time to figure it out.
But now that I am no longer actively meeting new guys I am leaning on my single girlfriends for the stories.
And honestly, there are few things in life better than drinking wine with your girlfriends and listening and swapping horrible dating stories. You have to go through the bad ones to find the good ones. To appreciate the good ones. You have to meet all kinds of kinds to know what kind you want. If this even makes sense? You have to be more open minded the older you get to “baggage” and what baggage really even means for you.
People are so damn judgy these days. I mean, I was definitely guilty of being a judge Judy.
I kind of want to round up my single friends and put them in a room together with some light apps and wine and make them mingle. And maybe some salad. Because baggage for me is someone smacking salad and being disgusting in how you eat. Your mama never taught you how to shut your mouth and chew? Yuuuuuuck.
I’m serious. Stay tuned..