The newness in a relationship. Don’t you love it?
Don’t you love when you cant help but want to spend every second together? Don’t you love how your new boyfriend is trying to impress you so he keeps the house clean, does his own laundry and is overly trying to win you over? But most of all don’t you love the new relationship smell of excitement of dates, unplanned drinks and that “miss him” feeling?
Obviously getting comfortable with someone is inevitable. It’s going to happen and it’s nice when it happens. Because on the flip side to the new feelings you can then eat more than lettuce and a carrot for dinner without feeling fat, go to the bathroom (#2) without having to pretend you’re washing your face for 7 minutes or on the phone ANDDDD it feels good to be with someone who you feel like knows you and you have that security. I get it and I agree.
So what’s this post even about then because it contradicts itself, right? The new is soooo great but you cant take a crap or eat a full meal because it’s new?
Well, no. Kinda… but no.
Relationships don’t have to get stale just because they aren’t new. You have to both put forth the effort of keeping them fresh and exiting and new and fun. Or else you get bored and unhappy.
Life is stressful on it’s own. Bills, work, family, the weather, your period..it’s all stressful. Sometimes it’s sucks being a grown-up whether you’re alone or in a committed relationship. It should be less stressful when you’re in a relationship simply because the idea of a relationship is a partnership. Partnerships make things easier.
Well, it’s supposed to with the right one.
But sometimes you get too comfortable and stop paying attention to things that used to be easier.
He stops washing dishes because he didn’t use that cup or that plate. She stops hiding her PMS because she’s comfortable with him. He stays out later with the guys than he used to because they have been together for 2 years and she will be there. She stops trying to impress him with hair, make up and being perfect because he’s seen her dolled up 1000000 times.
Some of it should stop. You shouldn’t feel like you have to dress up or have a full face of stage make up every second of every day around your new boo. (I def have never been that type of girl) but I mean sometimes I wont brush my teeth right when I wake up. #morningbreath
But keeping the relationship alive and new is a totally different subject.
There is nothing worse than a relationship that gets boring. #amirite?
Guys – you should never stop dating your girlfriend or wife. You should never skip ‘just because’ flowers. You should never forget to get her a valentines day card. Or your anniversary. DON’T FORGET YOUR ANNIVERSARY.
And ladies – you should never get so comfortable with your boyfriend or husband that you let yourself go. Stay healthy and stay fit, You’ll feel better about yourself and your relationship. Never stop taking care of your guy.
Always do the things that made your relationship fun. Whether it be wine every night to talk about your day or a random date night for drinks on a Tuesday. Do it. And tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that they’re hot.
In the midst of being in a comfortable routine of cooking dinner every night and punching the time clock at 5 to go home and watch the 6pm news, break up the routine and do something different.
Do what you used to do when you were 2 weeks in. Think about how you felt on your first date. Think about what made him smile. Think about what made her cry. Good or bad (don’t do what made her bad cry again though!) But think about the things that were fun in your relationship. 6 years with someone shouldn’t mean you have to be boring and predictable.
As corny as it sounds, I think about mine and Mike’s first date a lot and remember the little things he did. He got up and peed 27 times that night I think. I remember walking up to him for the first time meeting him. Wondering what his voice sounded like every step I took until I heard it for the first time. Wondering if he really was 6’3 like he said. It makes me remember the little things and the ‘newness’ of our relationship.
Keep your ‘old’ relationship new with the habits you have when you meet someone in the beginning. It will keep the fire aliiiiiiiiiiiiive.